Conversations That Matter: The One to One

Improve your ability to connect, communicate, and challenge your direct reports.

Great leaders don’t leave connection to chance. They build it into their cadence. And yes, building a relationship with people is easier with some more than others. This has been my experience too.

One of the most powerful leadership responsibilities is the regular 1:1 check-in conversation. Not the rushed status update. Not the performance review.

When done well, these conversations center on four essentials:

1. Care & Connection
People perform best when they feel seen. A simple, “How are you really doing?” builds psychological safety. When leaders slow down long enough to listen, without fixing or interrupting, they communicate value. Care is not soft. It’s strategic.

2. Clarity
Confusion drains performance. Who hasn’t experienced ambiguity that leaves you thoroughly confused? It’s no fun!
1:1s are a place to clarify expectations, priorities, and decision rights. What matters most right now? What does success look like? What needs to be de-prioritized? Clarity reduces anxiety and increases ownership.

3. Productive Challenge
Support without stretch leads to stagnation. Challenge without support leads to disengagement. In a strong 1:1 cadence, leaders ask thoughtful questions. Productive challenge communicates belief in someone’s potential, especially when someone understands that’s the “why” behind it.

A key lever…

4. Welcoming Feedback
If feedback only flows one direction, trust erodes. High-performing leaders intentionally ask for it. When leaders model openness to feedback, they normalize growth. We don’t always like what we hear but we likely need to hear it.

A consistent 1:1 rhythm does more than manage work. It builds trust, accountability, and it elevates performance. In bigger organizations, it may be necessary to expect several members of the leadership team to conduct 1:1s in a shared way, because the various role interactions require a layered approach to building trust. The constant is that the quality of the conversations really pay off.

Ask yourself, What matters most right now? How can you have those conversations that matter? Check out our Leading By Feel program on March 31st. Learn how to:

Make Better Decisions: Improve decision-making by incorporating emotional insights alongside rational analysis.

Expand Empathy: Develop a deeper understanding of your team members' perspectives and emotions, leading to more compassionate and effective leadership.

Increase Influence: Enhance your ability to inspire and motivate your team, driving higher levels of engagement and performance.

Build Relationships: Foster stronger, more trusting relationships within your team and across your organization.