Carry Your Own Weather
A few weeks ago, in the middle of a gloomy, rainy day, I was preparing to facilitate a session for our Leadership Development 1.0™ series. As participants arrived, we all began commenting on the crappy—yes, I said crappy—weather.
It was clearly affecting us. The training room had taken on a heavy, gloom-and-doom feeling before we had even begun.
And that’s when it hit me.
I flashed back to a lesson I learned—and used to teach—from Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. As part of Habit No. 1, Be Proactive, Covey encourages us to “carry our own weather.”
And cue the music: I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day…
To carry your own weather means not allowing outside circumstances to control your mood or attitude. Just as dreary weather can affect how we feel, so can criticism, traffic, stress, disappointment, or someone else’s bad mood.
These circumstances can create an emotional climate around us. If we are not self-aware and intentional, we can rain on our own dang parade—and sometimes bring others down with us.
Intentional people choose to be proactive. They bring their own positive attitude along for this bumpy ride called life. Often, they also find ways to lighten the emotional load for others.
The best example I can share is Sandy.
Sandy is my daughter’s mother-in-law, and she has been an inspiration to her family and to me. About 10 days ago, she was placed on hospice.
So, what did she do?
With help from her daughter, Sarah, she starred in her own little fashion show. Sarah took pictures so Sandy could carefully scrutinize each outfit and decide what she should wear to her own funeral.
When her pastor visited, Sandy suddenly became concerned about feeding everyone after the funeral.
“You know they will be hungry!”
During her awake moments, she has been busy making final requests—and perhaps giving a few orders—to those who visit. She keeps everyone busy and helps them feel useful. I cannot help but think that, even now, she is trying to lift their spirits.
The last report I received was that she was telling Sarah what should be included in the information read at her funeral.
In my opinion, Sandy is carrying her own weather—and helping those who love her carry theirs, too.
When the doctor told her hospice was the next step, she paused for a moment and said, “I ordered a new purse from QVC, and it hasn’t come in yet. You can have it, Sarah!”
That’s Sandy.
Carrying your own weather means taking responsibility for your emotional climate instead of allowing the outside world to determine it for you. So many things in life are beyond our control. Our response, however, is still ours to choose.
There is certainly no easy button for this one. But there are three practices that can help:
1. Choose Your Response
Pause and decide how you want to respond instead of reacting automatically. That small space between what happens and what you do next can make all the difference.
2. Take Responsibility for Your Attitude
Avoid blaming other people, events, or circumstances for how you feel. When you hear yourself saying, “He makes me feel angry, frustrated, or incompetent,” pause and recognize that you may be giving someone else control of your emotional climate.
3. Focus on Your Circle of Influence
Put your energy into what you can control: your choices, words, effort, behavior, and attitude. Try not to spend your energy worrying about circumstances outside your control.
And it just occurred to me—that is exactly what Sandy is doing.
She cannot control what is happening to her, but she is still choosing how she will respond. She is finding humor, making decisions, caring for others, and bringing a little sunshine into an incredibly difficult season.
We may not get to choose the weather around us, but we can choose the weather we carry within us.
And if you now have My Girl by The Temptations playing in your head, you’re welcome.
After all, it is pretty hard to have a bad day while singing that song.
Thank you, Sandy, for reminding us what it truly means to carry our own weather. Your humor, strength, love, and concern for others—even during life’s most difficult moments—are a beautiful example to all of us.
You have brought sunshine to so many cloudy days, and your light will continue to shine through every person who has been blessed to know and love you.
This one is for you, Sandy.
